Today I read a post by one of my favorite bloggers @DrJayJack titled Your Twat Has Lost All Its Value. My initial instinct was to pull my feminist card and deconstruct the whole article, however as I thought of a clever way to do that I realized..."this man is saying some real shyt". Nothing like a male writer to let us in the mind of the male specie. And just like that without knowing @Drjayjack inspired this post.
So lets get to it.
As I approach my mid twenties I realized a lot has changed in my life, all for the better. During the early years of my college career, I was one of those girls constantly fighting the useless battle against the beloved Double Standards(DS). I couldn't understand why men where allowed to judge women based on their sexuality and level of promiscuity (I still don't get it, but that's another post). Nevertheless, as I have gotten older, I have accepted the fact that the Double Standard(DS) is real and cannot be ignored. So ladies if you want to marry a man who supports the DS, I suggest you get with the program. As a woman you might think you do not have to care about the DS but if the men you are attracted to and see as potential partners are believers of the DS, you might have to re-evaluate your stance on the issue.
Top 3 Reasons Why You Can't Ignore the Double Standard
#1 I've heard and maybe at some point argued that am too independent for this DS shyt. Yet, as I look back at the struggle of the phenomenal women, who have made it possible for me to be independent, I doubt that their idea of gender equality was defined by a woman's sexuality and or body count. Nor do I think that claiming DS as a struggle honors their hard work.
#2 What we failed to realize ladies, is that we all secretly love the DS, we just call it Chivalry. We like it when a man opens the door, when he invests time, when he picks up the check, when we are wined and dinned. So even though we are proud to be independent...some still expect Tyrone to pick up the check and treat us like queens (At the very least, it would be nice). It seems to me our society has created a struggle between independence and tradition...and everyone is confused in the head about their roles.
#3 For a long time I was convinced that I could think like a man. Until I realized that this was impossible because I do not have a penis. Our society's definition of independence is intertwined with a sense competition. Whether it is in sports, the labor force or even heading the household women have been conditioned to believe that they have to be better than men, yep "anything he can do we can do better." This inevitable competition between sexes has caused a unbalance in the stability of gender roles. In my opinion there are too many women trying to be men and in doing that they forget their place. Allow me to enlighten you. From the women' prospective the DS is merely sexual, but my question is this, as future wives, caretakers and matriarchs do we really want to do the same things men do? How is ignoring the DS bringing us closer to finding a future husband? Let us not forget that there is a reason we are different from one another with the purpose of complementing each-other. After all if you a woman of God how can you refute his teachings. The Word says wives be submitted to your husband (via @DaExec) but since most of us aren't married yet we wont go there.
Understand this, you can't control what people think as wrong and twisted as those thoughts might be. If a guy knows what he wants in his fair lady, DS or not if you do not meet the requirements he would not put a ring on it. You can try to change him all you want, make as many excuses as you wish, and stick around for years if it makes you happy, but he will not marry you. I know many couples that have been married for over 30 years and are products of the DS. Granted those times were different, but gender roles were clear as day. To those successful couple the DS was not a struggle it was a way of life. Women asked for gentlemen and men asked for ladies. The high level of comfortability we enjoy during this day and age, has led to a level of loss of self respect. Ladies remember that no matter how independent we are, when it comes to marriage you can't fully dish-out tradition. You will always be a woman and treated different than a man because we are different. Please know and understand your place. Same applies to men.
We are always complaining about the lack of good men and women out there, yet we should be looking in the mirror to see if we are worthy of one to begin with. Share your thoughts! Are there men who don't believe in Double Standards?
