Historically unfortunately, women have been labeled as baby making machines, whose only purpose is to please the MAN. This past quarter, I took a Global Sexualities Class in which I learned about the sexual history of women, at least all that can be found in text (I am sure there is more, women are great at keeping secrets). I was frighten by the findings, and every night when I got home I thanked my "vag" for always holding me down! ( I firmly believe in always showing your appreciation!) In any case, as we wrapped up the discussion during the last week of classes, we addressed the role of The Female Orgasm, or the Lack Thereof. It breaks my heart to hear that there are women in this world who have rarely or have NEVER, experienced an orgasm ( The sh*t really makes me sad). However, in the spirit of being proactive, and because it is our moral obligation to make things right, I have decided to tackle the issue.
First, I blame society! Yes I do! For conditioning women to believe that our only responsability is to please men and be mothers. Do you have any idea how painful it is to give birth? The vagina must expand at least 35 cm which is almost 14 inches, that is 7 times the average size of a normal vagina. Then you have contractions, and the pain of pushing that niglet out! Lets not forget the back problems, during the pregnancy and it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the issue. How can you have the nerve to tell me, I cant get pleasure from sex? Just to make matters worst, society decides that the man must have all the fun, and that it is my job, to make sure he is satisfied. Excuse me? He wont cook, wont clean, wont watch the kids, wont even give me a nut, and I am supposed to make sure that after I finish my endless to-do-list I give him the business? I don't think so!
Secondly, I blame ourselves as women. Why are you still waiting on a man to show you what an orgasm is?!? It is 2010, chick get with the program! Explore your body! What are you afraid off? That maybe once you touch yourself, after a glass of wine and a long shower, you might just enjoy it? That in some twisted world you will achieve an unimaginable level of sexual pleasure by your self?? It angers me to hear women say, "I dont know how to do it" or "no one ever taught me" or my favorite of all time "He does not care". These are nothing but a list of EXCUSES!
1. "I dont know how to do it, and I am shy" : Learn! There are many options out there for women to learn about their sexuality! Hell, if you really that lazy, use the internet and google/youtube! We all know they have the answers to everything! If you are shy, GET OVER IT. How can you be shy with your body, but bend over backwards for someone else? That makes no sense.
2. "no one ever taught me": Teach your damn self! How can you expect someone to give you what you want, if you don't even know what you want! Again It doesn't make sense! (please refer to #1)
3. "He does not care": He DOESNT HAVE TO! You do! Your body, your needs, your nut, Get to it! (please re -read #1 and #2).
Note: I would like to state, that I am not against please a man! I believe sex should be selfless, and satisfaction should come from satisfying your counterpart. This is not about you (MEN), this is about the ladies!
Here are some tips (these are things, I have read, some experienced and some I have been told):
1. Masturbate! You would be surprised to see how this simple act will improve your sexual life. Sh*t it improves life in general, productivity hits its peak after a nut followed by a good meal! You can start slow, using your hands, then upgrade to some toys, just explore your sexual personality.
2. Be the Instructor! We all wish, every guy we sleep with knew exactly what to do, and when to do it! But the reality is that they don't! So teach them, after you have mastered the art of giving your self an orgasm it is a lot easier to teach someone else.
3. Stop Being Lazy and Close minded. When you open your mind to change, the possibilities are endless. I am not telling you to go and let someone pee on you (if thats your thing, hey more power to you, call R. Kelly), but don't let tradition dictate your level of satisfaction.
4. Practice! The more you do it, the better you get at it! Simple!
That is all for now folks! Lets all unite to end this madness! If you have any advice or stories please feel free to share!
Hasta La Vista - Baby!
7 comments:
I totally agree that it is sad for women to not have the satisfaction of intercourse..what the hell are you doing it for then? If you don't plan on pushing out any babies anytime soon, ur playing nobody, but urself..GETTERRR DONE!!
Merc
women who aren't having orgasms on a regular basis, ah sigh. you summed it up, women have to take control. make that ish happen.
but u bring out something else, women shouldn't tolerate selfish lovers. if your partner is not doing it for you, you need to let them go.
This post was on point!! All I could think of was Tatyana Ali saying "Reject Your Pussy" in the Brothers...lmaooo
Good shyt mama!
NICE TRUE STATEMENTS INDEED LOVED THEM ALL!!!!
Nice blog. True indeed there are some women that need to learn to please themselves. Maybe in learning more about themselves they might truly receive pleasure with their mate.
Precisely :-D. I heard from my guyfriends that they usually just try to get theirs anyway. Men who try to please women tend to be the most awkward in the bedroom. When women know how to get one she doesnt have to worry about him trying to please her. She can tell him what he can do and he can worry about his own orgasm. I think it's a win-win.
This channels a lot of my Soc of Gender class. Socialization, on all levels, teaches women to be lesser than a man. Whether its in the workforce, at home or in school. People need to realize that you can't always be the direct product of your family values...you have to make your own decisions and mold it to your life. You def have to blame women for their lack of orgasms because humans are selfish creatures. The men is taking care of his and you are not speaking up!!!! A closed mouth doesn't get fed and people aren't mind readers! AND, a woman cannot rely on someone else to give her pleasure if she can't do the same for herself! The bottom line is EVERYONE needs to be proactive in their life and know that at the end of the day, #nochrisbrown, no one is gonna be there for you EXCEPT you.
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