Maybe you are just leading her on.

I have been meaning to write this blog for a while now, but time just hasnt been my friend. It is 4:45am in Honduras and I am up, so here it goes.

It is no secret that actions speak louder than words. Therefore, what you say does not really have much value when your doing the complete opposite. The other day I was speaking to one of my male friends about people and their expectations. He told me that he doesnt understand why girls get so attached. He said "I tell them what I want and what I can offer to them but they always end up trying to change things." I totally understood where he was coming from. If you tell someone what your expectations are and you set your ground rules then there shouldn't be a problem, right? Wrong. So, I asked him "what are you doing with these girls that leads them onto thinking you want something else?" and ofcourse he said "Nothing. I am just nice to them." At this point, I couldnt help but wonder what "nice" meant. After all, a lot of guys are nice to me and I am not falling head over heels for them.

Male Definition of "Nice": Talk to them on the regular (constant texts, or other forms of communication), constantly taking her out and picking up the check, long talks aka phone boning or boo loving, planning trips together etc.

When I first heard this explanation I immediately realized the problem. We clearly have a problem of miscommunication. Let me break it down for you. The relationship you have with someone is not defined with what you say, it is defined by what you do (unless you are his side piece, in that case is over for you. He is not leaving his wife, gf, main chick for you, give it up). Now, what I am going to say applied to both men and women because we are human beings and some things are beyond our control, but I will talk about the ladies, it is what I am, and what I know.

First, "Talking on the regular". If you talk to someone everyday, all day, inevitably the person will develop some type of expectation. Time is money, and if you investing your time in someone, they will eventually think that you are interested in them. This one is a lil harmless if is done in moderation, but when you do it excessively, I cant blame the girls for thinking you might want more (I am not defining what more is, it can be a relationship or sex, your pick).

Second, "Constantly taking her out and picking up the check". I understand if you are a gentleman and your momma taught you to always pay for the ladies, but to avoid misunderstandings you shouldn't be picking up the check every time you taking your friend out. At some point she should be picking up the check or getting separate bills. If you continue to pick up the check she has the right to think you may want something more. We all know, nothing in life is Free.

Third, "Long talks on the phone, or boo loving". Maybe you have alot to say, and enjoying having someone on the other end listening to your every word. Maybe you like to engage in friendly debates with the opposite gender. But if you are doing this between the hours of 11pm and 5am this is considered boo loving or phone boning (hey I didnt make the rules, I am just telling you about them). Again time is money and sleep is of the essence. If you are sacrificing your sleep to spend time with your lady friend, just to hear her vent about her day, she has the right to think you might want more.

Fourth, "Planning trips together". Unless you both decided to go away to a place where you can both WIN with different people, a girl has the right to think you want more. Specially if you are already getting the pum. Why the extra mile if you just want to be friends? Even if you say, you want nothing more than someone to keep your man downstairs company, why are you going out your way? This are the type of questions the ladies ask themselves, and they come to the conclusion that you want more.

Now ladies, just because you think he wants more it doesnt mean he wants the same thing you want. However, I can see the confusion and how you can both misunderstand and be misunderstood. Ladies also remember that you cannot change men. They wont do anything until they are ready, so even if he wants more, it has to happen on his time, not yours. Fellas I know you think shorty is clingy but maybe you are just leading her on. I am not telling you to be a jerk, but you might want to revise your definition of "nice" #amjustsaying.

Ladies do you agree or am I making this up? Fellas what do you have to say on your defense?

There is no place like home.

It has been a few months since I have updated my blog. There have been some major changes in my life and I would like to share them with you all. First, I moved to Honduras. Yes I did. Although I was only coming to visit, I quickly realized that I truly missed my family. Being around them reminded me of how happy they make and how much they complete my world. After careful consideration I decided to stay. By the grace of God I found 2 jobs which only reassured that I was meant to be here. I will be working for the American Embassy via Education USA teaching GED., SAT and GRE prep. I will also be working for the International Christian Academy as a first grade teacher. Although I didnt go to school for teaching, I have to say this is a very rewarding job. I absolutely love what I do and have grown to care for my students a lot.

Most people do not understand why I have decided to teach, when I have two bachelors in International Studies and Public Policy, well the answer is simple, because I can. If you know me, you understand. I love to try new things and explore unfound territories and after looking for a job in America since January 2010 and finding NONE till August, a change was much needed. I am young, and do not have any major attachments to the States, meaning husband and kids, so this came at the perfect time.

Next, while I was depressed due to unemployment, here I am being blessed with numerous job offers. The lack of competition and my well rounded education/experience really has helped me in the job market. However, it still boils down to who you know, and luckily for me, I am well connected. Trying to make the next move onto bigger and better things. I Have relocated to Tegucigalpa (the capital) so if you come to Honduras, be sure to hit me up.

Besides all the reasons listed above, I dont mind changing the cold winters for sunny days at the beach; living at home with mom for my own apartment, and the genetically engineered food for fresh non processed goods. People have been asking me if I am coming back or when I am coming to visit? To answer your question, Yes I will be moving back, when only God knows. I am not sure when I am coming to visit yet, but I will let those who need to know, when I am in town.

I hold the last 12years in America very close to my heart and have been missing my loved ones and friends that live there, but I look forward to you all visiting me. I put my destiny in God's hands and he put me here, only he knows what's next, me? I am just riding the wave.

Making the decision to start a new life, can be very scary, however I could not be happier. America can be a very stressful place, at least for me it was. Now, I am more calmed and stress free. Maybe is because I am around my family, or because I finally have a job, or maybe is the sunny days I get to enjoy every day, who knows but I am happy. After all, there is no place like home.

Love Always,

Nory