I been gone for a minute but now am back with the jump off... Happy New Years and all that my friends, took a break to enjoy life but in the words of Diddy lets turn the piano up!
What is the deal with women and advice?
Since birth women have been sold bullshyt fairy-tale stories about men, and love. Stories such as Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Rapunzel and our recent the Princess and the Frog perpetuate this false and delusional idea of love when it comes to men. Instead of preparing us for the harsh reality that comes along with love in terms of men, we find ourselves facing a rude awakening as we wait for our alleged “prince charming”. We are never told that 99.9% of the time men really are only interested in our bodies, and then as a result they eventually notice your personality. Or that they will feed you a bunch of lies to get what they want from you, and once they have it they will kick you to the curve. Or that they will invest time, money, and resources on you and when you bring up the “R” word they will make up a billion excuses to justify why they are not ready to take that step; when in reality they just don’t want to take that step with YOU but since you are around he will string you along until he finds something better to move on to and simply waste your time. Or that you will get your heartbroken and at that point you better off moving the fck along because if you stick around he would do it again. Or that he will lead you on, and play house with you and you wont be allowed to complain because he told you “I am not looking for a R” even though he has done everything a boyfriend does. No my friends thes fairy-tales do not tell you any of this REALISTIC and NECESSARY information.
So what do women do?
In light of our lack of preparation, we turn to our lovely female friends for advice. Why?
First, they know you. If they are your friends, they have been around you long enough from the first time you got a guys number/aim/fb/twitter/bbm to the night you needed a shoulder to cry on while you played your “breakup playlist” and bashed all men kind.
Second, they know what you are going through. Someone once said “Don’t give your heart to someone unless their own heart has been broken.” This makes perfect sense, people can’t appreciate something if they do not know its worth. Your female friends, has been through it and just like you, she has needed a night of comfort and naturally can truly understand and feel your pain.
Third, they know somebody who was in a situation just like yours and now lives happily ever after. Lets face it “He is not that into you” had a great representation of this phenomenon. Friends, real friends hate to see their loved ones suffer and will try to cheer you up in any way possible. Once we see that the “Fck that ninja” approach doesn’t work, we move to the “I know someone who was talking to this guy......now they been happily married for x years” approach, as evidence to help your girl through this tough time. Maybe that is her prince charming or maybe he just another statistic and she should just keep it moving, but since you don’t know that, all you can do is show her the options.
Quickly, we realize that maybe our female friends do not have the best advice, mainly because they don’t have a penis. After all if women are from Venus and men are from Mars, you need to speak to martians to understand their language. So we turn to our male friends for advice.
I have learned that unless their gay, 99.9% of the time, most men have the same views when it comes to things . So it is very safe to say that their advice tends to be very accurate when it comes to other men. When they give you the advice, you still have the option of doing what you want, and in most cases.....what you want to do is listen to your female friend for the reasons mentioned above. In here lies the problem. So just stop doing that right now, it will save you a lot of tears, and a lot of time.
I am not trying to male bash here but, yall do have to admit yall send some weird signals that lead to a huge gap between what you say and what you do. The one thing most women do the most, is over analyze shyt, even if they know their conclusion will be WRONG 100% of the time. This usually happens when we do not understand why "you" do things, which is 100% of the time. So we turn to our handy dandy female friends to try to figure shyt out after all two minds think better than one right? Wrong. We should be turning to that ninja and ask him to explain the shyt to us, and if he can’t do that, ladies pack your bags and leave because chances are he knows exactly what he wants and you are not the candidate he wants to put in that position.
Please share your thoughts! Ladies, whose advice do you take and why? As women how we prepare ourselves for men and love? Fellas, what advice do you have?
